I recently spent 12 days on a fantastic road trip with a friend. We drove from Minneapolis to Wyoming and Montana visiting friends and family in Cody, Bozeman and Missoula before heading into Glacier National Park.
About 30 miles from returning home from our trip, there was a sign on the highway alerting us of a car fire ahead. As we slowed, two firetrucks and a police car raced by on the shoulder. The SUV ahead of me hit the brakes hard and as I hit the brakes, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see if the person behind me was paying attention to the stopped traffic. What I saw was a semi-truck driver slamming on his brakes. I watched black tire marks scorch the pavement behind me and realized there was no way it would stop before hitting me. In a split-second decision, I darted into the lane to my right that had a small clearance in an effort to give the truck more space to stop. When I glanced in my rear view mirror again, I witnessed the truck slam into the SUV that had been ahead of me only moments before. My stomach dropped and my emotions were rattled. While my friend and I became swallowed up in the traffic, we watched as two firetrucks, one police car and, eventually, one ambulance raced the opposite direction on the highway - presumably to this new accident.
I spent a good portion of two days checking the internet for any report of the accident to know what happened. Eventually, I was able to notice just how caught up I was in replaying the scene of the incident. I also noticed my inability to be attentive to anything else happening around me or tap into any of the joy of adventure that was at the forefront of my mind mere minutes prior to the accident.
I often talk with clients about observing their thoughts to become aware of how much time they spend in the past or future rather than being present. As we ruminate on past events or future scenarios, we can create our own suffering by feeding things we can't control.
When I finally paused and noticed that I was caught in replaying the memory of the accident, I made the choice to feed different thoughts. I started with acknowledging the gratitude for being aware of what had been happening around me which allowed me to get out of the way of the truck. I sent supportive thoughts to those involved in the accident to acknowledge their potential struggles. And then I chose to feed the positive memories from my trip that better serve my overall wellbeing.
While I haven't stopped thinking about the accident or the people involved, I have created a healthier way to interact with that knowledge moving forward. Having awareness of my thoughts gives me more choice to stay emotionally balanced and allows me to show up with more presence and intention in my life.